Wednesday, April 17, 2019

Respect People's Boundaries, For God's Sake!

I feel like in the era of #MeToo, this shouldn't even warrant questions. 

There should have to be no discussion.

And there should be no excuses.

Respect people's boundaries, folks!

If someone is not into hugging, don't just hug them. Be respectful and ask, "Do you mind if I hug you?" I know too many people who aren't all about touchy-feely relationships with others no matter HOW close they may be to people. They simply do not like to be touched. And you know what I do if I want to give them a hug or put my arm around them to console them?...I ask first. Simple as that.

We have NO idea what other people have been through. We have no idea their traumas or their upbringing or their background...and even if we do, that should give us even more reason to respect other's boundaries. It shouldn't become a game like "let's see how much we can pick at so-and-so until she gets mad". NO! Actions like that show blatant disrespect for a person and that you clearly do not care about their boundaries. It doesn't make someone finicky or rude to have set boundaries...but those who don't want to respect them make it a point to act like they are such.

Sexual trauma.

Physical abuse.

Feeling uncomfortable.

They don't like you.

Or just because.

These are all valid reasons for wanting personal space. Actually, ANY reason is a valid reason. Because it's their body and it's not yours to pick/prod/touch/hug/caress/squeeze/etc.

In a survey done by NPR they found that 81% of women have been sexually harassed. 41% of those women were touched. But I'm not just talking about men not respecting women, but men disrespecting men...and women disrespecting women. 

I understand that sometimes people use physical touch to show empathy or to try to convey that you're there for them, and even I struggle sometimes. To show a patient that they are important to me and that I'm going to take care of them, I sometimes touch their shoulder. But I need to stop. Because, out of respect to them, I do not want to belittle their boundaries. And I think everyone should make a conscious effort to do the same. 

Also, it's not all about physical boundaries...sometimes people cross verbal boundaries far too often. As an off-putting joke or attempt at humor. But there are things you just should NOT joke about; 
-death
-addiction
-religion
-lack-of religion
-family
-personal appearances

To make a joke about someone's family member being dead is not funny. To call someone ugly is not funny. To belittle someone because they believe in ( a ) God and you don't agree. These are not "jokes" and making fun of such topics like that shows that you have very little respect for others. Things like this just aren't funny.

Yes, I respect that people cope with hard-to-swallow topics by using humor, but for Christ's sake KNOW YOUR AUDIENCE! 

If you know someone is touchy about certain subjects, do NOT make ill-fitted jokes. They are unnecessary and show that you are narrow minded. You hurt feelings ( whether that was the intent or not ) and you lose people's respect. And it shows your ignorance and blatant disrespect towards them and their thoughts/emotions. 

So in short: stay in your lane, think before you speak, remember that everyone has traumas that you may know nothing about, everyone reacts to things differently and JUST BE RESPECTFUL!