Sunday, March 18, 2018

What Is The Difference?

Living in such a technologically-advanced world is hard when it comes to dating and relationships. With apps like Tinder, Grindr, Bumble and the numerous other dating sites--the options are endless. But it seems like those options are also limited.

We, as young adults, accept far less than what we deserve...because society makes me seem like you shouldn't "get attached" to avoid being hurt, so Generation Z doesn't know how to have valid relationships. They've never seen them and they don't know how to pursue them.

 ...while us Millennials are still hoping for something with solid ground ( at least most of us )

But sometimes, things work opposite.

What if you find that "solid ground" but you feel more like you're settling instead of being in love?

Being in a relationship in 2018 is hard because of all the changes to the "fake-ass rules" that have come into play. If he treats you like shit, ghosts you and doesn't want to label anything then "he's a piece of shit". Yet girls will either continue to break their own hearts by chasing after this complete asshole or...she'll move on to the next. Because there are sooooooo many "next!" options. And some will continue running after the same asshole even WITH other options at their fingertips.

Or maybe you find a good guy/girl. They treat you really well and you like them, but maybe the passion or lust or attraction isn't really there. When you want the complete opposite of a fuckboy, you get the nice guy...but are you happy, or just taking the best option? The mentality of "this is the best I can get, I guess" or "it's better than being with an asshole"...

Why can't we all find the best of both worlds?

From what I see with my own eyes, a large amount of people under the age of 40 have problems even loving themselves. It's something I personally battle with myself. And when you can't love yourself, and you don't know who you are, it's hard to adequately love another. Many relationships out there are based more on a dependence of each other than actual love. Many of them are volatile and toxic but have gone on for so long that it's become second nature. Some people out there may truly feel there is no way out. It may be due to finances, or children, or lack of independence...and some maybe don't know any better.

So thinking about the struggle of being IAR today, I googled "the difference between comfort and love". I found an article written for Elite in October of 2015 by Gigi Engle. You can find the link to the post here, but I especially liked the 2 ending paragraphs:

"Yes, being comfortable may not be nerve-racking. But living without happiness means settling. It means not allowing yourself to experience the most beautiful levels of human existence.

Being happy may be risky, but it’s better than never risking anything -- and therefore never truly living."

But then it comes back around: how can one be happy if one is never satisfied? 

And again, we are back to social media and its endless options. Places where people can put their best foot forward, lie through their teeth and go as far as to catfish people who are just looking for happiness. 
Are we all doomed to settle for a mediocre life because that's our only option left? 

Will only the luckiest of lucky find true happiness in their lifetime?

Maybe we should all focus more on our own self-discovery and less on trying to find a person to make us "whole"...