I had a few ideas for topics to write today, but since my plans were made and then cancelled due to stupid baby daddy bullshit, let's talk about that for a bit.
First and foremost, I do not understand how a parent can deny their child or children...EVER.
I started seeing a new therapist. I had my "entrance appointment" last time I saw her, where I have to give her a rundown of my background. I haven't spoken to my mom in about 17 years, as you've probably read before. When mom said dad had to fly us both ways or "we are stuck down there", that scared us--we didn't want to live in Florida anymore. So what did we do?...we didn't go. Then as pre-pubescent girls, we would be out running around the neighborhood whenever she called, spending time with kids our age and having fun...so then it became, "Why do I even bother calling? They're never around to talk." So...then the calls decreased, until they eventually stopped.
Since when is it the
To this day, I feel that our mother resents us for "choosing our dad over her" and for not continuing a relationship with her, when in all honesty it is the responsibility OF THE ADULT to continue being a parent to the KIDS!
When did shit get so messed up?!?!
Life happens, and shit gets hard--but when do your kids get to start being an option instead of an obligation?!?!?!
...they shouldn't. Ever.
Plans to go to Bingo have changed today because a certain baby daddy bailed on getting his two children. After being incarcerated for years for drugs and theft and missing out on so much of his children's lives, his excuse for not getting them?: "I don't have the gas to meet you for them". Wow.
How does a decent father go from 10 to 1 like that?!
I feel like people have their priorities are SORTS of fucked up these days, and kids are just a commodity; left in the ruins of man-children and spiteful women to use as their own pawns for games they never agreed to play in. Mommy hates daddy, daddy hates mommy, let's use the children as a means to hurt each other and make them endure the collateral damage. Do you know what this shit causes in these children?
Lack of self-esteem.
Feelings of neglect and not being wanted.
Shyness and fear.
Lack of healthy communication skills.
Co-dependency and fear of abandonment.
Kids are smarter than you think and they pick up on things far more often than what you may assume. And if they know that daddy was planning on getting them and, all of a sudden, he's not--what do you think those children are thinking? That daddy doesn't love them or want to spend time with them.
I'm not sticking up for one sex over the other; I'm simply writing this viewpoint due to the events of today. Also, because this isn't a "once in a while" situation--there's always an excuse.
And sure, if your life went askew and things happened that you wish didn't, why do your children need to pay the price for your bad decisions? Why do they have to lose a father simply because you don't WANT to get your shit together?!
It's infuriating and disgusting. Not only does mom never get a break, bare ALL of the financial burden AND have to pick up the pieces of their little broken hearts...these kids are missing out on having the family they once knew, all because dad is selfish.
Drugs fuck you up. Jail gets you sober. But it's your choice as to what path you're going to follow once you're out. And you can either choose to be a victim of the system and live in that pattern forever, or you can take the experience and BETTER YOURSELF to be the man you should've always been.
Just some food for thought...