Monday, July 10, 2017

Diary Entry #1372

Today, I'm just gonna write about a few things--not one particular topic. This is because it's been an off weekend, I'm not feeling too well today and I don't really have anything to write about off the top of my head.

I found out on Saturday morning that a really nice guy I knew from high school suddenly passed on Friday. I'm unsure of the circumstances, but he was only 31/32 and it came out of nowhere. Brian was always super nice to me; I even had a crush on him briefly in high school. He was quiet, but silly and he made me laugh. We had chorus for 3 years together. He's actually my friend Brittany's brother. I just can't believe it. I have my own assumptions as to what happened, but that's not for me to discuss aloud--as nothing as been confirmed about his death and it's not my business to prod. I just feel so much empathy for the family left behind; for his daughter. Dying is a tragic reality in itself, but so young?! It breaks my heart. 

Then later on Saturday, Haley was sick. When I say sick, I mean "puking EVERYWHERE" sick. It was not fun. I called Rye to see if they could get her in to be seen, but there was no doctor in the office. They told me to take her to Rossmoyne to avoid dehydration. Well, I've gone that route before...and it was a $1600 I called Nathan and asked him what he wanted me to do. After a $6500 dog bill to save her life, I was in a state of almost-panic all day. But as the day progressed, the vomiting slowed and eventually she got her appetite back. Lo-and-beyond, it seemed she just had a belly ache. Ever since the incident, though, we've become super paranoid with every cough and change in appetite. I told her that she owes us another 2 years...and I hope that happens.

On Sunday, we went to Nate's "step moms" house for his nephew's 5th birthday party. It was a nice time. Lots of food, laughs, sunshine--the kids were swimming. And all the animals! They have 5 dogs and they just had 5 kittens that they are rehoming! I was in heaven. Jazayah had a really great day, though, and that's what matters the most. I did get quite sunburned, but I'm crossing my fingers for a "tan", LOL!

I also did some grocery shopping at the new Aldi in York and omigah it's NICE! I walked in and everything was nicely organized, it was clean, the aisles were organized well, and the people were super friendly. I definitely like that one better than the one in Carlisle...but it's pretty even to the one in Mechanicsburg. I think I'll continue to shop at this one from now on, though. It's a nice scenic route to get there, too.

The baby bunnies are getting SO BIG! They are 5 weeks old as of today. I think we still plan to keep the two females, but we haven't yet found homes for CJ or LC. They are very tame, though. They will hop all over you and sniff and lick you. It's adorable. We did make the mistake, though, to put them all on the bed on Friday and we ended up with 2 bunny piddles and a bunch of rabbit turds all over the comforter. Haha! So we had to wash it before bed that night.

I'm ready for therapy on Thursday. Yesterday evening I started feeling pretty *blah* and I'm still feeling it today. The stress of not knowing who really cares for you and who just pretends gets me down sometimes. Also when people feel sympathy for some people who don't deserve it, then turn around and judge me like I'm faking my illness for said sympathy. How is it okay for some to use depression as an excuse and for others, we need to "suck it up"? Also, I'm a giving person--I always have been. But now I fear that I reach out and give to people who don't even like me and then I'm like, "why; why do I bother?" That's how you get used. People who don't like you but know you're nice will take from you and then talk shit behind your back an hour later. How do I know that I'm not giving to the wrong people? Even as an adult, I still don't have that figured out. I still am that 11 year old girl that SO badly wants to be accepted and have friends, even though the introvert in me hates people and wants to just be alone. It's a constant battle, my friends ( or foes )...

Luckily, I have vacation coming up in about 2 weeks. Since Haley's surgery happened, we won't be traveling, though--so it's more like a "staycation". I'm fine with that. Maybe I'll go to the lake. I was thinking of getting a massage at Element while they still have their $45 deal ( or go to YTI campus ). I told Nathan that I want to paint the house that week. I chose colors about a year ago, though, so I want to review them and make sure I still want them. And Mallory is coming in that first Saturday, so she will be here to kick-start my vaca. I want to start planning our exotic destination trip ( since I've never been out of the country or on a vacation like that ), but I still have NO clue when I want to go. It can't be during the actual summer since it's the busiest time of the year, but it's also going to kill a little part of me to spend money like that. But hey, it's better to spend on experiences rather than objects, right?

Welp, that's about it as far as what's been going on. Hopefully I will have a good topic to write about for my next post. If you want to share any ideas of a topic you'd be interested in reading, just leave a comment below.

Oh, and Happy Monday...( not )