Monday, March 13, 2017

I'm At A Loss

Drugs rob us of the people we used to know, and some we never had the chance to meet. It takes parents away from children, and children away from parents. We lose friends/brothers/cousins/aunts to the disease of addiction. No one should have to go through this, but unfortunately it's everywhere. And all it can take is "one good high"; a broken ankle and a prescription for Percocet...a night of partying and a line of Oxycontin...that "it won't happen to me" mentality. But in the blink of an eye, it *does*...and then it's a downward spiral of not wanting to feel sick, being able to function, etc. It turns the people you love into someone you don't know. And it turns good people into thieves and liars.

When someone close to you is battling an addiction to drugs, it becomes a waiting game. Failed attempts at rehab, possibly some arrests, anger and resentment towards your loved one for simply "not getting better". You are pretty much waiting for the call...and today, that call came.

Today, my boyfriend lost his sister in her battle.

I never really had the chance to get to know her. When Nate and I met over 2 years ago, she was already fighting the demon. I remember on our first date we were hiking at Colonel Denning and he told me about Victoria and her addiction. I could tell, even then, that it was hard for him. But we were just learning about each other, so he didn't want to get too much into detail. I empathized with him and felt the pain when he spoke. All I could say was that I hope she beat it and got better.

I only had the chance to meet her once. In and out of rehabs, I didn't hear or see much of her. I added her on Facebook after she came to our house last year for Christmas, so I got to get a small glimpse of the life she let people like her family see. We would even Snapchat back and forth from time to time; she knew I loved dogs so she would send me pictures of the ones she was grooming at the shop.

She was a beautiful girl with an adorable son who loved her to pieces.

She was a lover of animals ( like me ) and was a dog groomer by trade. At one time, she actually owned her own dog-grooming business.

She had many friends who cared for her and loved her.

She loved hard but also took no shit.

But as most stories seem to go, a past relationship got her hooked on pills...thus leading to an addiction to the cheaper alternative: heroin. And once you're in--you're in. Heroin takes prisoners with no intentions of letting them go. 

There's only two ways you can go with heroin: you either get clean, or you die.

Although I have never had a drug addiction, the concept always intrigued me. I've always had an interest in Intervention and documentaries that talk about drug dependence. And from the knowledge I've gained from others' experiences, these drugs take complete control of you physically and mentally. They take you over 100%. Day and night, it's all you can think about. A few harmless nights of partying could in turn leave you feening for your next fix. A work injury where narcotics are prescribed for pain control could easily lead to addiction. No one WANTS to be an addict, but sometimes when you fuck with fate, fate will fuck you right back.

You can never fully prepare yourself for such devastation. Although it does not hit me personally, the one I love is left with a missing piece of his heart. The family I have grown to love now must mourn the loss of one of their own. A son will have to live without his mother; siblings without their sister; a mother without her daughter. 

Please keep their family in your prayers tonight as we mourn the loss of a life taken too soon. A wonderful person that I never had the chance to get to know, but do not judge for we all battle our own personal demons.

May you rest in peace, Victoria. I'll take good care of your brother, okay? 💓