Thursday, August 18, 2016

Glorifying Bitches

Why do we, as a society, condone shitty behavior? 

It seems that the bigger the bitch, the sweeter the deal. 

Bitches become the trophy wives that get everything they could ever want. They become the office favorite and the right hand "man". They are Miss Popular with a friends list most can only dream of. They have doting husbands and plans every weekend. But I really want to know why?!

Now I'm not saying being a bitch is bad. I consider myself a bitch. When you see me out and about, I look unapproachable and angry. I don't like to deal with bullshit. I have a short fuse. I say how I feel without thinking sometimes and I snap out at people occasionally. But I'm not an assertive bitch. I'm not overbearing with my bitchiness. I don't complain 24/7 about mediocre BS or make everything I say soaked in sarcasm. I don't belittle people and I don't play games. I'm the type of bitch that will say I'm a bitch but will probably just ignore you if I see you in public instead of being aggressive. I don't go looking for a fight. I'm actually quite a nice girl, just with bitchy tendencies. But these chicks who are just horrible fucking people or just never fucking happy seem to always have it ALL.

Oh, so you're a SAHM? And your husband works hard to pay for your mortgage/electricity/cars/kids/food/cell phones/furniture/etc so you can stay home with your children and you don't have to work? That sounds really nice; something I always wished to have. Yet--you still belittle him around his friends and family. You still yell at him constantly for not doing enough. I'm not saying being a mom isn't a hard job, but as a whole...why do these women who don't appreciate what they have GET all the things good women can only dream of? And the bitches that say, "It's not as good as it seems"...well, if you don't appreciate it, you can always move out and get a job...?

Then there's men with great jobs and a stable lifestyle that always seem to fall for the women with no ambitions in life. They're beautiful and bitchy. They want to live a certain way and they easily find a man to give them all of that because they are good looking. Well, I am not beautiful...and I briefly dated a guy with a great job who wanted no future with me because I didn't have a college degree. It didn't matter that I was a hard worker or took pride in my job; I didn't bring to the table what he was bringing and he didn't want that. He wanted an equal, not someone he feared he would have to support. How sad. Maybe if I were hotter and skinnier, he may have thought differently. Girls with ambitions find losers who want another mommy, while guys with their shit together find lazy ass bitches who just want a free ride, all because she happens to look good on his arm. 

Then there are the bitches that work up the corporate ladder. They are the catty ones, always complaining about someone or something yet they somehow are the bosses favorite. They are usually the ones starting office rumors and belittling others while hiding out in the break room, text messaging and flirting with coworkers. Usually ALSO beautiful, they are mean and hateful yet seems to always be the one the boss runs to. Sometimes I wonder if fear is a factor. Maybe attraction? Sure, bitches are assumed to have that "I get shit done!" mentality, but not always in a good way. And what about an office where women are the majority? There is always more than one bitch in a setting like that. So what makes one "type" of bitch better than the other? Why is it that the "bitchiest" is usually favored? 

We KNOW it's the era where "bitches rule the world" much that books are written on the topic. Sherry Argov wrote 3 books on the topic, including Why Men Love Bitches and Why Men Marry Bitches which, although are books on my "to read" list, both glorify how bitches get what they want. 

The website and Instagram Betches is widely known for their sarcasm, crudeness and beauty. With advice columns, two published books, celebrity gossip and an online store, these "betches" are quite popular...all because they are bitches.

So how are we to know what kind of bitch is the right kind to be? What type of bitch is going to get us what we want? Why must we even have to be a bitch? 

We are teaching girls that if you're a nice person, you're going to fail in life. You're going to struggle and be cast aside because bitches get shit done and nice girls are doormats. This is not how it should be. If you are good to your man, he should be good to you. He should take care of you and love you because you respect and appreciate him. Old-fashioned values still make me feel that a man should support his family, but equality is good also ( I don't think a woman should be breadwinner but hey, sometimes people prefer it that way )  If you work hard and go into work with a pleasant attitude, your coworkers should like to be around you and your boss should appreciate that you care about your job. Your friends should like that they have someone around who cares about them and doesn't ridicule others; because if they don't talk poorly of others, they most likely don't speak poorly of you either. 

We need to stop glorifying the word bitch, because are daughters and nieces and cousins are listening and learning by example.