Monday, August 29, 2016

The Expensive Lesson That I Learned Today

Sometimes...I do stupid shit. Today was one of those days. So, I need to write about it.

As you age and you learn, you also realize that there may be some lessons that your parents forgot to fill you in on. Maybe it's about the importance of an IRA. Or possibly even possibly how to balance a checkbook. But I learned that you REALLY need to read over all of the fine print when it comes to your insurance benefits.

Now I'm out $180 for an appointment that I was expecting to pay $35 for...

I came home and immediately signed on to Capital Blue to check my benefits. I found the sheets that I was given when I was first enrolled. And, nowhere on my sheets does it clearly state that I needed any type of preauthorization for my appointment. There was no asterisk; no number to refer to. It simply showed that I would owe a 'specialty copay' of $35 for in-network providers. 

I get to my appointment 10 minutes early and, there in my paperwork, it states:
"I do not participate in commercial health insurance networks, but will provide a receipt ( including procedure code and diagnosis ) that you can submit to your insurance carrier for reimbursement."

This was news to me: nowhere on the website for the office did it state this information. 

Then you're left with the decision to leave and possibly pay a 'cancelled appointment fee', or just pay and stay. I chose the latter.

And, of course, customer service for the insurance company closed 15 minutes after my appointment ended.

So a few tips:
1. Make sure to read all the fine print. I don't know what I possibly missed, but was massive.
2. If you have questions, call the insurance company. Any questions. Little; big. It doesn't matter. If you have any questions, just call.
3. Check, check and triple check. Make sure you have all the information for insurance and the office prior to even walking through their door. If not, you could be left paying a fee far more than expected. And not be happy about it.

Now I'm sitting here, stressing about the idiocy of my actions and how I ( yet again ) went off of a sense of urgency instead of common sense. 

I can only hope that when I call the insurance company tomorrow, they can give me the information to submit the claim on my own and *pray* that I get some sort of reimbursement back.


Saturday, August 27, 2016

Homemade Sweet & Sour Chicken

I loooooooove Chinese food ( just look at my gut, it will tell ya! ) so, homemade Chinese food hacks = life. My coworker Jim sent me the recipe on Pinterest a while back and I never got to making it...until tonight!

Behold the chicken-y goodness:

The recipe, which I saved on Pinterest, is from a website called Natasha's Kitchen. You can find the recipe here

Now, the chicken needs to bake for about an hour at 325* so I don't recommend this being a Monday night dinner. I think altogether it took about 1.5 hours to prep and cook. 

I also only used 3 chicken boobs, but I didn't cut any of the other ingredients. And it came out amazingggggg! 

You must first cut, dip and fry the chicken prior to baking. The sauce is:

1/2 cup apple cider vinegar
4 tbsp cattttsup ( ketchup ) 
1 tbsp soy sauce ( I use reduced sodium =P )
1 tsp garlic salt
3/4 cup granulated sugar 

Once all the chicken is cooked, drench those bitches in this sauce and pop them in the oven. Make your sides and in a hour, you're eating some delicious din-din!

The Things We Shouldn't Say

It seems that everyone thinks that "their story" is the correct story. People use cruel words to express emotions rather than intelligent discussion. We all have the luxury of thinking for ourselves. But sometimes our perceptions are skewed due to misinformation and spite.

So let me tell you: sometimes, you should just keep your mouth shut.

I've learned ( the hard way--like a lot of things I've learned in my life ) that sometimes, it's best to just let things left unsaid. Instead of going straight for the jugular, maybe you should take a step back, reflect and then just shut up. Calling people names like "skank", "asshole", "loser", etc. doesn't help the cause. At all. Does it make you feel better?...because, if it does, maybe you need to look more deeply into your own issues. There's no point in it. Sometimes, you need to learn to cut your losses, say, "Things just didn't work out" when people ask questions, and just keep moving forward. 

We grow and we change; it is a major part of life. You reflect on your decisions of the past and where you want to go in your future. I'm not a perfect person: I'm far from it. But, I know this and I'm taking the steps to help to create a better version of myself. One of the bad habits I'm trying to break myself from is trying to fight back when people beat me down. What is the point of the back-and-forth banter and name-calling? It gets you nowhere. And, words can hurt: things you say can never be taken back. Even after an apology from an old friend, I simply told her that there was too much from our past that I could not forgive. But I let her know that I no longer harbored ill feelings and I wished her the best in life. That's how it *should* be. Not the "he did this, she did that" bullshit that we deal with nowadays. It's not so much the words that you cannot forgive, it's the way those words made you feel. If you don't have something nice to say, learn to say nothing at all.

Friends, family and lovers are not supposed to judge you, your downfalls, or your actions in the past...whether they are angry with you or not. These relationships are relationships that should be based on unconditional love, communication and understanding. But if you feel that one of these relationships lacks one or all of these, it's healthier to just cut your losses and walk away from a toxic situation. 

Plus, everyone's relationship with people is different. My relationship with Mallory is not the same as her relationship with someone like Sherry, and I get that. So, a side of Mallory I may see could be different from what Sherry sees. Not that she is a different person around everyone, because that's not what I'm getting at. You can be in any kind of relationship and expect things to be 50/50, right? But that person may have another relationship with someone who is okay giving 80 so, they only have to give 20. So in turn, they want 80 from you because they're used to only giving 20. Then you feel unappreciated, used and, well, angry. 

We are too old to be using the term "Well that's just how he/she is..."

And it's not okay to take secrets, experiences and years together and use it as leverage or a way to emotionally beat someone down.

That speaks immeasurable on your character.

Like I said prior, I've said and done some shitty things in my past. The conversation I stumbled upon from years ago also dives into that. But, unlike that conversation where I didn't feed into the jabs with rebuttals, I had many times before. Trying to beat down someone and make them feel like shit because they made you feel like shit solves not a damn thing.

We need to be kinder with our words.
We need to cut our losses and move on.
We need to grow up and take a step back.
And we need to learn to just...shut up.

Thursday, August 25, 2016

Why I LOVE My Fitbit...

I'm pretty sure that Nate expected me to use this for a few weeks and then forget about it, but nope!: this Fitbit Flex has been on my wrist since it was given to me on Christmas Day!

I chose the Flex because the price. It was the cheapest, most basic bracelet style Fitbit ( there is a more "pedometer" style of Fitbit, but...I wanted a bracelet ) Plus, I don't work behind a desk: I'm constantly smacking my wrist against things...whether it be putting trash into the "trash hole" or just hurrying and hitting it up against the wall. Haha. Also, I really wasn't sure how much I'd like it, so I didn't want Nate spending the money for the top-notch model. 

Well, I love this thing!

Fitbit is more than a pedometer; it tracks your total daily steps, miles, calories burned, activity, sleep patterns ( this part is the most addictive ) and you can also manually enter things like weight loss, water intake and there's even a calorie counter! 

Like today...this is my progress currently:

I took a walk at lunchtime today and also went to Zumba class, so as you can see, I surpassed my 10k step daily goal. The fun green streaks just show that I reached all four of my goals: at least 10k steps, 5 mi, 2500 calories burned and at least 30 minutes of activity. It becomes quite addictive.

When you wear your Fitbit to sleep, it tracks your movements to determine how long you actually slept. I love this part because it actually helps you to see the quality of sleep you had that night. Being able to see your sleep patterns helps you to integrate better before-bed habits to gets a better nights rest. I find this aspect very intriguing. 

Also, for those of you who use calorie counters like MyFitness Pal or Calorie Count, you can actually sync it with your Fitbit app. Prior to using my Fitbit, I counted Weight Watchers points and initially lost 35lbs ( I've put it back on since, but I stopped caring so much about the program...I do highly recommend it, though ) I don't tend to like counting calories but sometimes I will...and it's convenient to have it attached to an app that I use daily already.

And then, of course, there are "challenges" you can complete with other Fitbit users that help motivate with a little friendly competition. I'm usually invited to at least one Workweek Hustle challenge a week. All participants aim to beat out the others by maintaining the highest number of steps from Monday to Friday. Currently, I am in third place this week.

I personally loooooooooove my Fitbit Flex and I would recommend it highly. The battery life is great ( it lasts about 5 days ), it's comfortable, it's informative and it's helpful.

As of last week, the Flex was priced at my local Walmart for $59. So if you don't want to spend an arm and a leg but you want a good product, I definitely say check it out!

Tuesday, August 23, 2016

Hasselback Chicken, Ya'll!

On my way to work this morning I was thinking of blog topics and I had a really great one...but then I forgot it. It tends to happen a lot with me. Although it can be a burden, I have been blessed with a horrible memory. This way, I can forget a lot of details of things I don't care to remember BUT...I forget things like what I need to pick up from the store and when my doctor appointment may be. But ANYWAYS...

I've been trying to eat healthy for weeks now. Sure, I'm not at 100% clean eating, but I substitute 85% of my snacks for healthy options: light string cheese, celery sticks, Jell-O and I try to cook a healthy dinner every night. Even when I don't feel like cooking, I will. Tonight, I had Pound class from 5:30-6:30 so, it's going to be a late dinner. And sometimes, with a later dinner, you have to do a bit of improvising.
*side note: the video below shows exactly what Pound is if you aren't aware*

Especially when you're coming up on grocery day and your fridge is about bare, you have to be creative. That is when common sense and the help of Pinterest come into play! My ingredients tonight were limited, but I had at least purchased a large pack of boneless, skinless chicken breasts. So what could I make with those that isn't boring? And I chose hasselback chicken, with my own twist.

Mozzarella Hasselback Chicken

2 boneless, skinless chicken boobs ( or however many people you're feeding )
lowfat shredded moz cheese
1/2 fresh, medium sized tomato, sliced- per breast

( now, this is for my piece of chicken...Nate hates tomatoes )

So, this is how you cut your chicken boob:

Preheat your oven to 425* so that it's ready when you're done.

So, from here, you pretty much just stuff the slits of the chicken with whatever the hell you want: cheese, ham, veggies, pasta sauce, etc. I stuffed mine with shredded mozzarella cheese, topped with sliced tomato halves and then sprinkled a bit more cheese on top. Then I just topped with dried oregano. 

Make sure that you cover your pan before you place it in the oven to keep the chicken moist. Now, I don't usually go by "cooking time" because everyone's oven is different and I don't want you to burn your dinner. However long you cook your chicken that. I check mine periodically to see how it's coming along. 

Once you think that you have about 5 minutes left, uncover the chicken so that the cheese can brown. Cut into your boobie just to make sure that it's not pink...and then ENJOY!


Pair with your favorite veggie and a starch, if you so desire.

Simply, easy and ( mostly ) healthy! :)

Monday, August 22, 2016


I feel like dedicating a blog to a few things I'm grateful for. 

My Thankful List. 

One, because I just need to reflect on some positive given the events of the last day or so and two, because even though I can be quite the pessimist, I also do appreciate things.

1. I'm thankful that I found a new job in a place where I feel respected, appreciated, trusted, important and a part of the team. I was so unhappy at my last place of employment and I was so scared of change for so long. But, luck be it, I happened to stumble upon a better opportunity with better benefits and a better work environment. I wake up everyday ( yes, even the days I don't really want to get out of bed ) happy to be able to work with the people I do. And although I have some personal stuff to work through, I love my job and I love my coworkers and I wouldn't want to work with any other group of people!

2. I'm SO thankful for Nathan. He loves me despite my shortcomings. He understands that no one is perfect and cares for me even when it may be hard to. He works so hard so that we can have a comfortable life together and, even on days when I don't appreciate him as much as I should, he still loves me. He's easy to get along with and he's so caring; he would do anything he physically could to help someone. He is seriously my best friend--and I actually like sharing things with him. I tell him pretty much everything. I've never had that before. Sometimes I just don't know how to react to it because it's so foreign. 

3. I'm thankful for new friendships, and mended friendships from the past. Some people drift and fall to the wayside, but that doesn't automatically mean that you stop caring for them. Meeting people like Ellen and Kyla have brought more laughter to my life, and reuniting with old friends like Amber is so very nice. We are growing and changing everyday, and we have the choice to be who we were meant to be if only we go that path. So the person you may have known years ago could be totally different now, if only you take the time to see. 

4. I'm thankful for another morning. I'm thankful that I woke up and the sun was shining and, even though I barely got 5 hours of sleep, I. WOKE. UP. Some people don't have the luxury to say that.

5. I'm thankful for my sister. Even though she can be a pain in the ass sometimes, and we are total opposites, she knows me on a deeper level than any friend or boyfriend ever has. It's a bond that cannot be compared. We've lived the same childhood but experienced it different. Our past has molded us in its own way. But we have a mutual understanding. We get it. She gets me. And even though she is outspoken and says what's on her mind ( to a fault sometimes ), I know if something has really hurt me or I really need help, she's there. She's my sister; she's my blood. I love her.

I'm going to keep it at just these five for today. Along with lack of sleep, I also have a headache...but I was itching to write a blog all day today.

Every now and then, just think of about half a dozen things that you are truly thankful for and ask yourself, "Why?" Center yourself and just take a step back: there are a lot of bad people in this world, but if you appreciate the good ones...those people don't matter so much anymore. 

Sunday, August 21, 2016

August Glam Bag

I just want to start by saying that I love the bag itself. I was hoping to get this one ( there were 2 prints for this month ) and I did! *yay* It is now my purse make-up bag...

As you've probably noticed, I received 6 items in this month's bag...I always make sure to rate my items on Ipsy's app to earn points. You cash in the points for extras in your bag each month; that's how I received the ZapZyt ( which is a full-sized bottle, BTW ) 

Now, on to the reviews:

Jersey Shore Cosmetics Mongogongo Lip Conditioner in Vanilla Coconut Cream
I am not a fan of coconut. I don't like the smell, I don't like the consistency...but if it's a mild taste ( like coconut shrimp *mmm* ) I like it. This lip balm is VERY mild. At first the smell is somewhat striking, but it makes your lips feel so smooth that I can tolerate it. The vanilla is less potent than the coconut is, but if you like coconut, you will love this balm.

It Hair Care 12-in-One Amazing Serum
I absolutely love getting hair serums in my bags, and this one is pretty baller. Although I ADORE the Chia by Trissoula hair serum, this takes a close second. I don't much like the scent of the Amazing Serum, but it makes my hair so soft and tames the frizz. It's thicker than the other serum, also, but it does the trick. You do have to wash your hands after using it because of the texture, but it's a good product that I would recommend.

NYX Born To Glow Liquid Illuminator in Gleam
I know nothing about highlighting my face. The entire concept is foreign to me. So, who knows if I'm using this product correctly. But what I will say is that the Gleam 02 is a beautiful shade of peachy-pearl that's flattering to my fair skin. The shine is mild and not too overbearing. If you know how to use a highlighter, I'd recommend this product ( also, I really like Nyx brand: good quality, but inexpensive ) 

Ciate London Paint Pot in Dangerous Affair
Although I have no used the polish yet, I love deep reds and this burgundy color is beautiful! I've searched on Instagram and both shades that could be received this month are gorgeous. I always use a top coat over my nailpolish to help prevent chips. 

Beauty For Real I-Line Eyeliner in Black Magic
Eyeliner is a staple in my beauty bag and I feel like a girl can never have too much. This was a full-sized product so I was happy about that. As far as the eyeliner, it glides on smoothly and is nice and dark. It's a twist pencil but, instead of the grip because cylindrical it's actually triangular. This gives you a more steady hold for application. That is the first time I've encountered this, and it's very helpful. 

*ZapZyt Pore Treatment Gel's an acne medication. It helps prevent zits. What else can I say? can get it at Walmart.

All in all, I liked this month's bag. It was a nice mixture of products and, of course, I always like getting a "present" in the mail every month.

Again, if you're interested in receiving a monthly Glam Bag, you can join Ipsy by clicking the link! 

Thursday, August 18, 2016

Glorifying Bitches

Why do we, as a society, condone shitty behavior? 

It seems that the bigger the bitch, the sweeter the deal. 

Bitches become the trophy wives that get everything they could ever want. They become the office favorite and the right hand "man". They are Miss Popular with a friends list most can only dream of. They have doting husbands and plans every weekend. But I really want to know why?!

Now I'm not saying being a bitch is bad. I consider myself a bitch. When you see me out and about, I look unapproachable and angry. I don't like to deal with bullshit. I have a short fuse. I say how I feel without thinking sometimes and I snap out at people occasionally. But I'm not an assertive bitch. I'm not overbearing with my bitchiness. I don't complain 24/7 about mediocre BS or make everything I say soaked in sarcasm. I don't belittle people and I don't play games. I'm the type of bitch that will say I'm a bitch but will probably just ignore you if I see you in public instead of being aggressive. I don't go looking for a fight. I'm actually quite a nice girl, just with bitchy tendencies. But these chicks who are just horrible fucking people or just never fucking happy seem to always have it ALL.

Oh, so you're a SAHM? And your husband works hard to pay for your mortgage/electricity/cars/kids/food/cell phones/furniture/etc so you can stay home with your children and you don't have to work? That sounds really nice; something I always wished to have. Yet--you still belittle him around his friends and family. You still yell at him constantly for not doing enough. I'm not saying being a mom isn't a hard job, but as a whole...why do these women who don't appreciate what they have GET all the things good women can only dream of? And the bitches that say, "It's not as good as it seems"...well, if you don't appreciate it, you can always move out and get a job...?

Then there's men with great jobs and a stable lifestyle that always seem to fall for the women with no ambitions in life. They're beautiful and bitchy. They want to live a certain way and they easily find a man to give them all of that because they are good looking. Well, I am not beautiful...and I briefly dated a guy with a great job who wanted no future with me because I didn't have a college degree. It didn't matter that I was a hard worker or took pride in my job; I didn't bring to the table what he was bringing and he didn't want that. He wanted an equal, not someone he feared he would have to support. How sad. Maybe if I were hotter and skinnier, he may have thought differently. Girls with ambitions find losers who want another mommy, while guys with their shit together find lazy ass bitches who just want a free ride, all because she happens to look good on his arm. 

Then there are the bitches that work up the corporate ladder. They are the catty ones, always complaining about someone or something yet they somehow are the bosses favorite. They are usually the ones starting office rumors and belittling others while hiding out in the break room, text messaging and flirting with coworkers. Usually ALSO beautiful, they are mean and hateful yet seems to always be the one the boss runs to. Sometimes I wonder if fear is a factor. Maybe attraction? Sure, bitches are assumed to have that "I get shit done!" mentality, but not always in a good way. And what about an office where women are the majority? There is always more than one bitch in a setting like that. So what makes one "type" of bitch better than the other? Why is it that the "bitchiest" is usually favored? 

We KNOW it's the era where "bitches rule the world" much that books are written on the topic. Sherry Argov wrote 3 books on the topic, including Why Men Love Bitches and Why Men Marry Bitches which, although are books on my "to read" list, both glorify how bitches get what they want. 

The website and Instagram Betches is widely known for their sarcasm, crudeness and beauty. With advice columns, two published books, celebrity gossip and an online store, these "betches" are quite popular...all because they are bitches.

So how are we to know what kind of bitch is the right kind to be? What type of bitch is going to get us what we want? Why must we even have to be a bitch? 

We are teaching girls that if you're a nice person, you're going to fail in life. You're going to struggle and be cast aside because bitches get shit done and nice girls are doormats. This is not how it should be. If you are good to your man, he should be good to you. He should take care of you and love you because you respect and appreciate him. Old-fashioned values still make me feel that a man should support his family, but equality is good also ( I don't think a woman should be breadwinner but hey, sometimes people prefer it that way )  If you work hard and go into work with a pleasant attitude, your coworkers should like to be around you and your boss should appreciate that you care about your job. Your friends should like that they have someone around who cares about them and doesn't ridicule others; because if they don't talk poorly of others, they most likely don't speak poorly of you either. 

We need to stop glorifying the word bitch, because are daughters and nieces and cousins are listening and learning by example.

Sunday, August 14, 2016

The Fundamentals of Caring

The Fundamentals of Caring is a Netflix Original movie directed by Rob Burnett. Recommended to me by my friend Brandon, it stars Paul Rudd and Craig Roberts. 

Ben (Rudd) becomes an at-home caregiver years after his son passes away in a tragic accident. A "retired" writer who refuses to sign the divorce papers, Ben decides to take a course to become certified in caregiving in hopes to get him out of his slump. And Trevor ( Roberts ) is his first client. It just so happens that Trevor is a young man with Duchenne muscular distrophy and, even with a handicap, has a quick whit and a sarcastic attitude that challenges Ben from the get-go.

The gentleman decide to embark on a week-long trip to all the sites that Trevor has marked on his map; one including a stop to see his estranged father. Within that week, they also meet Dot ( Selena Gomez ) who is hitchhiking to Denver, and a pregnant woman named Peaches who is headed to see her mother. The women are not main characters, but they definitely help with key stories in the movie. They include "rebirth" and, of course, first love.

In the end, everyone is safe and sound and you will see at closing that Ben is writing again. 

But as you watch the story unfold, you see Ben regain his strength and learn to forgive himself. And Trevor realizes that a handicap does not mean you must live a life of solitude. You see both characters grow as the movie plays and each regain their own sense of hope for the future.

An independent film shown at this years Sundance Festival, it is currently listed under New Releases on Netflix. A dark comedy of sorts, it is well done and a heartfelt story. 

Rotten Tomatoes has this movie rated as a 6.3/10 but I would probably give it about an 8. It's a low-budget independent film and, of course, I love me some Paul Rudd. I thought that it was a nice Sunday movie. I didn't get to sit down and watch it straight through but I did finish it. And I don't think I "wasted my time" watching it.

So, if you are a fan of Rudd and independent films, I suggest that you add this one to your list on Netflix!

Saturday, August 13, 2016

All That Is LuLaRoe

In a world full of Tastefully Simple, Scentsy and Jamberry...we now have a clothing line: LuLaRoe.

I first heard about this company around December of last year. I'd never heard the name prior to that ( even though, I guess, they've been around for a while ) A friend of a friend came to a bonfire wearing Christmas tree printed leggings and she was raving about how comfortable and soft they were. Now, these leggings were a little "loud" for my taste, but they were soft AF. She went on to briefly tell us how she got them...and after that, I never really thought about it again. 

Then last month, I was invited to a "pop up party" ( those new to the brand: a pop-up is a "online shopping day" where the consultant will post her inventory and then everyone invited gets to shop ) I was skeptical at first and had no intention of buying anything. Well, during a pop up they do "giveaways" to earn LuLa Cash towards purchases. I thought, "Why the hell not?"...and I ended up winning $10. So, even though leggings are $25/pair and I'd never tried a pair on before, I could easily validate getting $10 off of that and then if I didn't like them I could easily sell them or give them away. 

Well...I got them. One pair of leggings. And I FELL IN LOVE! 

Ladies, if you ever buy something from LuLaRoe, you need to purchase leggings. They come in prints AND solids, so if prints are too busy for you, you have the other option. But they are seriously the softest and most comfortable leggings ever. And they are SO FORGIVING! It's a yoga pant waistband ( so no elastic cutting into your stomach and making you look rolly ) AND the material doesn't thin as it goes on your body ( like your butt/thigh area ) so no pantie show-through! Annnnd, for as smooth as they are, cellulite doesn't show through, either. 

And guys, these are a GREAT gift for your ladies. You won't want to keep your hands off her ass in these leggings. 

But anyways...since I loved the leggings so much ( and I know with companies like this, if you have a party there are usually some perks ) I booked a pop-up with the lady that did the one I attended. And well, the perks of hosting a LuLaRoe party are quite nice.

1. When you host a party, you get 1 pair of free leggings. Your choice on print, BEFORE the party starts.
2. For every 10 items you sell, you get to pick an item for yourself free of charge. At my pop-up, I sold about 21 items ( including 2 I purchased myself ) so I earned 2 free items plus my free leggings.
3. When in-between a 10-item mark, you get a percentage discount. So I got about a 15% discount on what I had bought out-of-pocket. 

So altogether for a total of 5 items, with tax, I would've paid about $185. Instead, with my hostess rewards, I paid $57. I saved $128!!! And I got all of this:

And although ( so far ) I boast the company, I'm not saying that the shit isn't expensive. I wouldn't go to the store and pay $25 for leggings, or $48 for a dress. But there's just something about this company that women go batshit for. Some women pay hundreds of dollars for what ladies call a "unicorn".

A "unicorn" is a print that is no longer available in pop-ups. It's vintage or discontinued. Some leggings ( LEGGINGS, PEOPLE! ) go for $100 on eBay! I saw one lady posted a screenshot of a print that was going for FOUR HUNDRED AND FIFTY DOLLARS! I joined a buy/sell/trade group on Facebook of 63k ladies and you would not believe the banter and nastiness I've seen in only 2 days of being on there. These women go HAM and it's a little scary.

Ladies maxing out credit cards. Draining bank accounts. Getting themselves in debt over LuLaRoe. But it's not the companies fault. Addiction to shopping is serious and costly, and LulaRoe is definitely banking it in over the crazies that are out there.

Seriously though, if you have self-control and want some really comfortable leggings, there are LuLaRoe consultants EVERYWHERE. I will also probably be having another pop-up before Christmas if anyone is interested in an invite.

Happy Saturday, ya'll!

Social Media Stalking

Our generation is horrible when it comes to not being able to mind our own business. With so many social media outlets, there's information on anyone you could possibly imagine flying around everywhere. Whether you're purposely looking for it, or someone just so happens to pop up on "People You May Know..." the information is staring at us directly in our faces. And it's unhealthy. as. fuck.

Be it your ex lover, ex best friend, distant relative or the girl next can most likely find them. And I feel more teens and young adults are obsessed with "Facebook creeping" these days than what is probably normal. 

I'm not saying I'm any better; I am also a victim to all that is the social media highway to hell. It can eat away at us like an infectious disease. 
"Did they upgrade from me?"
"Are they really that happy?"
"Did he get fat?"
"I hope her boyfriend cheats on her..."
"Aww, she doesn't have any friends now."
Constantly stalking people from your past doesn't help you let go and only makes the wound last longer. It's like each time you check up on someone through social media, you're ripping off a scab and making yourself bleed again. So why do we do it?

We do it for validation. 

Did we make the right decision? Are they happier than we are? Did they get fat/skinny? We feel the need to validify the reasons why something didn't work out and to "make sure" we are better off than they are. So we look for pictures of them smiling, having fun, traveling, in love, etc. And in the end, all it does is bring up bad memories and makes us feel like shit. It makes us contemplate the "what ifs" and "why was I not good enough" or "why couldn't they have grown up when they were in my life". It makes us resentful. 

Before the internet, people would break up and pray to never have to run into them in public. Now, people split and they are checking their Instagram 738472398473 times a day. They make fake Facebook pages and post anonymous comments on their blogs. They bitch about them on Twitter and (hashtag) #overit. We aren't able to grieve the loss and move on because of tagged photos and status comments. 

But what we fail to realize is that just because they have a cute, smiley profile picture, it doesn't mean they're happy. Just because they lost weight, it does not mean that they're healthy. Just because they have professional "couples photos", it doesn't mean that they have a good relationship. Just because they post about being out at the club and have a dozen pictures with friends, it doesn't mean that they aren't lonely. Just because they had a child, it doesn't mean that their marriage isn't falling apart. Looks can be deceiving, and we fail to see that when we try to compare our lives to others. Keeping up with appearances is what social media is all about. We need to get back to focusing on ourselves and not our old best friend or our boyfriend from 5 years ago.

We need to learn to block, log off and shut down...

Sunday, August 7, 2016

Late 20s and Enemies

In your teens and your early 20s, your "enemies" seem to consist of: girls who want your man, girls you don't trust, girls who don't like your friends or girls who used to be your friend but did one of the three aforementioned. Usually the reasoning is stupid and immature.

When you're creeping on 30, if you still have enemies, it usually doesn't so much pertain to those things ( at least I'd hope we've grown up a bit ) And with being a girl who clearly still has enemies and doesn't particularly like a handful of people, I've thought long and hard about the reasons why. I've pretty much chalked it up to 2 reasons girls have enemies in their late 20s. It's either:

The girl had a grudge against you in her early 20s.
The resentment still lingers for something that happened years ago. It could have been something small, something severe or just an assumption. Some girls may not even really remember the actual reason why they do not like you, only the memory that they didn't like you "for a very important reason". For instance, a girl whom I thought was a friend told her boyfriend that she didn't want him talking to me. She didn't tell me this; he did. She apparently told him this months prior, but was still being friendly to my face. When I found out, I simply just parted ways with her. I was like, what the fuck ever and probably bitched it out to a few of my other friends and that was that. But I didn't hate her for it. What I did hate was that after the incident, her and another girl I "thought" was a friend started saying very cruel and hurtful things about me on the internet for all mutual friends to see. They called me names, including "Free Willy", all because I ceased a relationship with them. Clearly, if you don't want me speaking to your boyfriend, you don't want to be my friend either. And no hateful words were exchanged; there was no argument or fight. But they belittled me on a public forum for everyone see with no remorse. I hold grudges against people who say things to make me feel bad about myself. I can't help that. So anyone that I may not "like" at this point in my life probably said or did something to purposely ( or maybe not even intentionally ) affect my self esteem and never showed remorse or gave an apology. If you cannot acknowledge that you hurt another human being, or you don't even care that you did, why should I like you?

The friend turned enemy.
I had a very unhealthy and messy friendship with a girl for years. I guess the proper term would be a "frenemy". We were 2 very different types of people, and within the relationship I felt like I gave a whole hell of a lot and only got put down, bashed and betrayed by her. I could write a book about all the shitty things she said and did to me. She would put me down to others and to my face ( well, via AIM, really... ) She'd call me fat. She'd tell people not to like me. She'd constantly spread lies about me and reveal secrets I entrusted her with. She slept with my ex-boyfriend out of spite. She did this all while she called me her friend. And I put up with it for a long time. I made excuses for her shitty behavior. I apologized for things I shouldn't have had to apologize for. I kissed her ass. I worried so much about trying to keep her as a friend because 1) she knew all of my secrets and I didn't want her telling people ( even though, even as her friend, it never stopped her ) and 2 ) I didn't want her getting other people to hate me. She was one of the cruelest people I've ever had in my life. Finally, I was strong enough to just let the "friendship" fade away. I found a nice lull to try to let it happen so it wouldn't blow up in my face. I don't recall if I received much backlash from her when it happened, but we haven't spoken in years and I feel it best that way. She can never take back the awful things she said and did to me and I will never not resent her for those things. I wouldn't call her an enemy and I do not wish bad things upon her, but if I saw her in public I'd probably just walk passed her. 

A major milestone when it comes to getting older is that it's not so much the word "enemy" that you use. You pretty much just don't care to be around certain people. It doesn't have to be a hateful situation, it's just something along the lines of being uncomfortable and really, just not wanting to fuck with certain people. You did me dirty?...I don't want to be in your presence. Why should I HAVE to be, ya know? And it doesn't even have to be something dirty. I've parted ways with people because I didn't feel like it was a 50/50 relationship. If I have to call/text all the time, always make the decisions, and then I hear that you complain about it? Done. If you are late to everything, don't take into consideration other peoples lives and don't respect me or my time? Done. Life is too short to surround yourself with people who cannot even meet you half way. 

The road bump with getting older though is that, unlike high school, your friends don't have to "hate the same bitches you do"...which can make for very awkward situations in themselves. This is when loyalty and trust come into play. I have mutual friends with people I do not like...logically, I'm old enough to know that it's ridiculous to try to dictate who my friends can be friends with. That's idiotic. I should trust said friend to be loyal to me and to respect me and to not hurt me when being around those types of people. But do you know how awkward and horrible it is to be invited to the same events as people you don't want to be around? To have to swallow it down and deal for the sake of a mutual friend? To lose time with your friend because they already made plans with someone else? To miss out on events simply because you don't want to have to be the bigger person or put yourself in that situation; or feel you need to be fake? Or to be fearful that someone who doesn't like you is going to see you and then later tell all their other friends that "you got fat" or "she looked like slut" or any other demeaning thing they can think of? I know sometimes you wish you could ask someone to not be friends with someone else out of respect for you, but that's not really fair...

Being an adult makes you ( or should make you ) see things a little differently than they may have looked years ago. You use more logic than you do emotion, which can actually cause things to suck even more. But I've learned through having enemies ( either by my choice or theirs ) that some people are just not good people, and others are just not meant to be in your life for long. You grow from people and everyone will eventually show their true colors if you're willing to see them.

Do what's good for you and never settle for ANYTHING less that you deserve, ladies...

Friday, August 5, 2016

My High School Experience

...was shit. 

I'm an awkward person, and although I've grown into more of someone that I respect and am happy with, it doesn't negate the fact that as a teen I was a hot mess. I was so worried about having friends that I became clingy and annoying and someone that...didn't have many friends.

I didn't belong to any specified "group" or "label". I hung out with a certain group of girls, and when I look back on it I feel like those girls were always mad at me for one reason or another. It was probably because I was annoying and dramatic, but what teenage girl isn't?? It just makes me a bit sad. I wish I would've had a more memorable experience.

In the group, there were about 6 of us. I always felt like the odd one out. Two of the girls were really close and always around each other. The other 2 became BFFs right off the bat even though I was close to the one prior; I was kind of pushed to the side for her. Then the third girl came into play, along with drugs and guys, and I wasn't into that kind of stuff. I felt like I fought SO hard to stay friends with people I really didn't have much in common with...just to have friends. I wanted so much to be liked, and I really wasn't.

I didn't smoke pot or party. I had a long-term boyfriend who was possessive and a messy situation altogether, so I didn't go out too often. All my time was spent with him. I was the product of a broken home with a single dad that had no money and didn't want to take me anywhere. In a sense, I was the "inconvenience friend". Everything I had to talk about dealt with either my boyfriend or drama with other "friends". Looking back it was pathetic.

It also didn't help that I rarely had classes with any of the girls. Even with all the stuff going on in my life, I tried to keep my grades up. I took honors classes when I could and opted for Spanish over other elective classes I would've liked to take ( i.e. art ) I was with a lot of the popular people in these classes. And although most of those people were very nice to me, I was not their friend. I was a poor, awkward chorus girl that didn't play sports and just happened to be taking Trigonometry. We had nothing in common and they weren't looking to invite me over to their house for the weekend or ask me to go to the movies. It just makes me wonder how it would've been had I been more confident with myself and cared less about what people thought about me.

I contribute my awkwardness to the fact that I moved quite a bit as a child. I was in kindergarten at Middlesex, 1st grade at Blaine, 2nd-4th at Frankford, 5th grade was split between 2 schools in Florida, 6th at Oceola, 7th at Havre de Grace, and then 8th-on at Big Spring. I never had a "long-withstanding" friendship with anyone.

I still have my insecurities but I have more of a fuck it attitude ( at least on the outside ) Anxiety doesn't help my constant worry if people don't like me or not, but I also have learned ( the hard way ) that it's not worth the effort to beg people to be your friend. I'm rough around the edges and I've been through some shit. I'm not saying I've been through the fires of hell, but my life wasn't easy either. Throughout the years, I've had people use me as a doormat, hurt me in unimaginable ways and given FAR too many chances. But from that I have grown stronger than I ever thought I'd be. 

...a lot of those girls from high school I've lost contact with. We speak here and there, but as soon as graduation hit we all parted ways and went different directions. I don't hold any grudges or think ill of any of them ( except for maybe one... ) I just sometimes wish that things would have been different. I wish I would have been more likable and felt better about myself. I feel like that would have made my experience better. 

I feel sad that I look back on those days with more regret than I do longing...

Tuesday, August 2, 2016

Sausage, Zucchini, Potato Packets

Sup, bitches? Do you like food?...I do. Do you like to diet? I fucking don't. But alas, I've come to my "fatass" breaking point. Luckily, I enjoy cooking. And, I mean, I don't hate healthy food...but I really love kettle cooked chips and Helluva Good French Onion dip :(

Anyways, I made dinner packets tonight that I found on Pinterest that turned out banging; so I thought I'd share the recipe ( now, I didn't follow it completely and...well...I'm not sure what I did, but I somehow lost? the link on Pinterest for the recipe itself ) 

Here's what the final product looks like:

And here's the recipe:

1 package of whatever effin sausage you wanna use
1 decent-sized zucchini
6 small red potatoes-cause they're good for ya
1/2 cup ( approximately ) of whatever onion you prefer ( I used sweet ) 
1 tbsp olive oil
1 tsp dried parsley
1 tsp dried chives
salt to taste ( they said a pinch, but I have a grinder so I just did a few grinds )

Cut all that shit up and toss it around in a large container. Spread the dried ingredients evenly over the top of the mixture and then drizzle the olive oil on. Take a spoon and evenly coat everything in the bowl, then scoop out hefty amounts into tin foil to create packets.

You can either put these packets on the grill or you can put them in the oven like I did. If you use the oven, heat to 425* and cook for 20-25 minutes.

Viola! You have a quick and easy dinner that's healthy and full of YUM! 


Monday, August 1, 2016

Paint Your Pet Night

Well, if you didn't already think I was a "crazy pug lady", you will after this post: I paid money to paint Lola! 

This was my very first Paint Nite ever. Fellow blogger ( and new friend ) Ellen Ross had done a picture of one of her chihuahuas about a month or so ago and I told her that she had to let me know when the next event came up. When I saw it on Facebook I knew that I just HAD to do it. $50 later, I was signed up.

Now, if you have a vagina and like wine, you probably know what a Paint Nite is. They hold them in bars or special studios. The one that I attended was actually called Paint & Create and is located in Lemoyne ( but there's also a studio on the East Shore, too ) I didn't bring wine because I didn't want to completely botch my picture of Lola so that she looked like a rock with eyes, but if I ever do a themed event...I will definitely be bringing a bottle with.

When you first walk in to a special Paint Your Pet night, you see this: 

( you email them a picture ahead of time for sketching )

They also have all of your base colors out for you, brushes, water, and paper towels. Apparently all canvases are hand-sketched using some type of projector prior to the event ( hence why it's pricier than the other Nites ) At first glance I'm like, "Oh this won't be so hard!"...well...haha!

I was the second-to-last one done...45 minutes after the "end time". Timed painting + lack of experience + perfectionism = slowasFUCK! 


The instructor was very helpful and did not make me feel stupid ( I told her I can do 3D art but, when it comes to 2D, I'm a fish out of water ) She showed me which colors to mix for what areas and showed me a shading technique that I cannot remember the term for. I felt bad for running so over, but I was glad I wasn't the very last one there!

But I'm pleased with the final product and for it being my very first masterpiece :) 

I will definitely be going to another event, but next time it'll be for something a little bit easier. Oh, and I need more friends! LOL.