Being a woman in today's world is FUCKING scary! Some people may say that we are far too sensitive and we simply overreact, but try being verbally assaulted on a regular basis. Dick pics, cat calls and eyes that critique you from head to toe--it's frightening to even go to the grocery store alone anymore...
...and this is something that happens daily to women all over the world.
Take a look at the infamous Brock Turner case. He got a measly 6-month sentence for RAPING a woman at a party behind a trash can. No repercussions; merely a slap on the wrist and a, "You don't do that!" is pretty much what he got. How is this okay?!
Bill Cosby's case has been deemed a mistrial, even after 51+ allegations of sexual assault. Only one woman could stand trial against him for rape due to the statute of limitations. How is the statute even feasible in 2017?!
We still hear terms like, "She wore a short skirt so she was asking for it" or "She was nice to me and I could tell she was flirting". Being nice to someone does NOT mean you want to have sex with them. You know what means you want to have sex?--when you say, "I want to have sex with you".
Per the RAINN website, someone is sexually assaulted EVERY. 98. SECONDS. Um, what?!?!?!
And in that same paragraph, it states that "every 8 minutes, that victim is a child.
Take a look at their web page. I've only briefly looked over it in the last few minutes and I already have a brick in my stomach. It's atrocious. How is this okay?
And let's talk about online dating. How dangerous is this, when you really think about it?! You have NO idea who you are really talking to on the other end of the line. On the World Wide Web, you can be whoever you want to be--even if that person is really a rapist underneath a businessman's guise. I met ONE guy on ONE dating site and thank the Lord almighty that he was not a serialkillermurdererrapist. But not everyone is so lucky. You ever hear of the Craiglist Killer? Yeah...shit like this REALLY happens!
...yet, what repercussions are being inflicted?!
...what kind of example is the justice system giving when they slap men like Cosby and Turner on the wrist for their crimes?
"If you have enough money, you can get away with sex crimes of any type."
"If you're a bright, wealthy, young white man with potential, say you're sorry and we will forgive you."
A friend of mine is currently going through a rough time. His eldest daughter was raped by her stepfather...and he got her pregnant. Apparently she is taking it better than anyone had anticipated, and she chose to carry the child to term and then to give it up for adoption ( which, kudos to her for being such a strong, young woman ) But, is he in jail?! Nope. That poor, innocent young girl--who was a virgin before this all happened--was molested and raped by someone who was supposed to be like a father to her--and you know what he claims?!...that she seduced him.
Seduction and using sexuality as an excuse for lack of self-control.
Rape and molestation can be about the sex...but mostly, it's about power. They discuss this in The Gift of Fear ( see my previous blog ) and actually go over the signs and intuitions of a sexual predator. Most likely, the signs are there...you just have to be aware of them. You have to listen, observe and not make excuses.
...and if you see the tell-tale signs, you need to ( again! ) FUCK POLITENESS and GTFO!
Rape culture is real and, sure, we can all think, "It won't happen to me"...but it can. It happens to our friends, our family, the girl next door or the woman who works at the grocery store. It happens in marriages, between strangers and between family members.
The best way of prevention is education and following your instincts.
But something needs to change. This is an issue that needs to be fixed.
Women should not have to fear going for a jog by themselves.
Children should not have to fear that Uncle Ted is going to come into their room at night and touch them.
This isn't ok.
It is not acceptable.
We need change.