|image by BuzzFeed|
Last Sunday, I delved into the Netflix vortex of binge-watching. I ended up watching the entire docuseries Hot Girls Wanted: Turned On in one fell swoop. The original documentary, along with a few in this 6-part series, were directed by Rashida Jones ( yes, the pretty girl from The Office/Parks and Rec/various movies ) I had previously watched the original documentary so I thought that this would be a good watch, also. One of the episodes featured this man--James Rhine. Immediately, I knew I had to bitch about him.
So apparently Jimbo was on Big Brother ( season 6, I think ) Watching the episode that featured him in this series actually infuriated me. The gist of the hour was pretty much "ghosting", how social media keeps us guessing, how we aren't satisfied as a whole because of all the options, how easy it is to find sexual partners online and the like. And this guy was like, the master of all douchebags.
James is like, 40 years old. He's currently sharing an apartment with 2 women who are probably about half his age. He's addicted to sites like Tinder and Bumble, and he's a complete commitment phobe. The way he portrays himself in his hour is actually disgusting--he plays with women's hearts, hurts feelings, he will disappear without explanation and he keeps a journal of all the women he's slept with ( pretentious much?! )
He goes on to explain a little bit about himself prior to his "fame" from BB6. He claims he was always considered the "good guy" and most of his female friends would friend-zone him because of it. He was nerdy and sweet in high school and kind of shy; didn't really date. Then when he was kicked off of Big Brother, his popularity arose. He was getting come-ons from hundreds of women via social media and in person. That's when his popularity got to his head and where it seems the issues started.
In one part of the episode, he had been on a few dates with this really sweet 26 year old girl ( yes, twenty-fucking-six and he's 40! ) They actually seemed to really hit it off. But one MONDAY night James is at his buddies house partying and asks her if she wants to come out. She texts back something about how she can't, because she has work in the morning, and sort-of questions why he's partying on a Monday night. INSTANTLY this dudes demeanor changes. It's like Jekyll and Hyde! He flips the switch and responds with, "Well, it was really nice meeting you. Take care." and BOOM!...just like that, he's done with her. I was just...floored.
But this episode also made me truly realize something: in the midst of social media dating, people are too easily "giving up" on potentially great things all due to the illusion that there's better out there. People will not accept more than 100% of anything because there are SO many other options out there. Even this 40 year old man, who dated far before Facebook, is falling victim to this charade.
I think most people forget that social media is only one side of a person; a side that someone is OK with showing the public. You don't see the tears, the bad days, the messy beds, the messy hair, the dirty dishes, the marital spats, the money issues, the struggle. You only see the good ( well, for the most part ) Expecting that someone is going to be ONLY what they portray online is quite idiotic. But it keeps people from truly knowing what love really is. So then you search for something you will never find.
This dude not only pissed me off, but he also made me feel bad for people who truly don't know any better. For people who will continue to search for "bigger and better" and never finding satisfaction in their lives. Love is about compromise. It's about loving someone for their strengths as well as their weaknesses. It's about wanting to be with someone despite. No one is perfect--a few extra pounds, maybe some depression, self-esteem issues ( too much/too little )--and it's almost impossible to find someone who will 100% fit your "mold". We are all human and we all have downfalls.
People are trying to find love conditionally.
Toward the end of the episode, James seems to have an "epiphany" ( which I don't full buy ) and states that he needs to be better and more transparent. Unfortunately, the first 40 minutes of the show had already put a bad taste in my mouth, so his eye-opening account didn't do much for me. I feel, at age 40, that he shouldn't be acting like such a child and toying with girls' hearts...especially girls in their 20s. I guess I feel that he should know better.
Dating in this day and age is a catastrophe, especially for those with old souls and old-school values. I guess that's just the way of the world now, though.
I just hope, like with most things, it's a fad that fades out.
Oh, and PS. Don't be a dick! 😉