Monday, April 23, 2018

My Last 2 Boxes

I didn't renew my Birchbox nor did I decide on a new subscription. I got my last two boxes in February and March, and ( as you can see ) I haven't made much progress with reviews. 

So let's get on with it, shall we?


ARROW BOOST Color Enhancing Lip Balm
So, I tried this on. I saw it on the Birchbox ads and yadda-yadda-yadda. To me, it reminds me of "mood lipstick". It also reminds me of kid-makeup. Why? Because the pink is farrrrrr too pink for my liking and I don't think it's flattering whatsoever. Also, when I applied it, I got pink *around* my lips, also. Since it's more of a balm, it doesn't really stay put. It made me think of when I eat a red or pink Popsicle and make a mess of my face with it. 

Number 4 Super Comb Prep and Protect
Smells great. Gets out the tangles.  Nuff said.

CLEAN Reserve Amber Saffron
This scent is light and floral and I really really liked it. 

Sunday Riley Good Genes All-in-One Lactic Acid Treatment
I've used it once or twice. It smells kinda bad ( due to the lactic acid, of course ) but I got no rash or discoloration. Always a plus in my book.

The Beauty Crop Wing Woman Liquid Eyeliner
The pen is just that--a pen. It's pretty hard at the tip and it feels like I'm using a marker to put on eyeliner. BUT--the precision because of that is great. And it goes on fairly dark, so you don't need to run it over your lid 582 times to get it all filled in. I like this eyeliner. Just be careful as to not take your eye out, LOL!

March ( and my FINAL! )

M.A.C Cleanse Off Oil
The first time I used this, I used it on a makeup removal round to remove my eye makeup. Apparently I was a little too aggressive because when I was done, my vision was blurry and I had raccoon eyes. I'm not good with remover oils soooo that's probably one reason. Also, I didn't read this until now but I guess you're to rinse so maybe THAT'S why ( hahahahaha! )

Supergoop! Daily Correct CC Cream
I really like this product and I've been using it quite frequently. My chin is a disaster lately and this CC cream is uber helpful in helping me try to conceal the monster. I use this all over my face, a concealer stick on the site and then a pressed setting powder. Viola! Slap on some mascara and a bitch ready for the day!

amika Brooklyn Bombshell Spray
As I've said before, I love me some bombshell spray. I only tend to use it if I am going to blowdry my hair, but sometimes I'll use it on my part to keep the flyaways down ( there are a lot more of them as I get older... )

ModelCo Luxecreme Long Wear Lipstick in Sienna
Love the color. Love the matte finish. DON'T like that it says "long wear" and I felt like it wiped away faaaaairly quickly. Anytime I get a new lip color I wear it to work and ask Jim what he thinks. This lasted on my lips maybeeee 3 hours. By lunchtime, it was pretty much gone.

Smashbox Cosmetics Insta-Matte Lipstick Transformer
I haven't this, honestly, because all the lipcolors I have currently...are already matte. But it states to avoid use on glosses, laquers and balms. So you are only to really use this product over a cream-based lipcolor.

Well that's all folks! I guess I'm going to have to start coming up with better topics to write about since I won't be receiving any box subscriptions anytime soon. Work's been crazy, Mexico is coming up, life as a whole is in a whirlwind, my anxiety has been on overdrive and my sister is expecting baby #2 in maybe I will delve into all of that stuff.

I guess just hang tight and we will see where we go from here. 

Sunday, March 18, 2018

What Is The Difference?

Living in such a technologically-advanced world is hard when it comes to dating and relationships. With apps like Tinder, Grindr, Bumble and the numerous other dating sites--the options are endless. But it seems like those options are also limited.

We, as young adults, accept far less than what we deserve...because society makes me seem like you shouldn't "get attached" to avoid being hurt, so Generation Z doesn't know how to have valid relationships. They've never seen them and they don't know how to pursue them.

 ...while us Millennials are still hoping for something with solid ground ( at least most of us )

But sometimes, things work opposite.

What if you find that "solid ground" but you feel more like you're settling instead of being in love?

Being in a relationship in 2018 is hard because of all the changes to the "fake-ass rules" that have come into play. If he treats you like shit, ghosts you and doesn't want to label anything then "he's a piece of shit". Yet girls will either continue to break their own hearts by chasing after this complete asshole or...she'll move on to the next. Because there are sooooooo many "next!" options. And some will continue running after the same asshole even WITH other options at their fingertips.

Or maybe you find a good guy/girl. They treat you really well and you like them, but maybe the passion or lust or attraction isn't really there. When you want the complete opposite of a fuckboy, you get the nice guy...but are you happy, or just taking the best option? The mentality of "this is the best I can get, I guess" or "it's better than being with an asshole"...

Why can't we all find the best of both worlds?

From what I see with my own eyes, a large amount of people under the age of 40 have problems even loving themselves. It's something I personally battle with myself. And when you can't love yourself, and you don't know who you are, it's hard to adequately love another. Many relationships out there are based more on a dependence of each other than actual love. Many of them are volatile and toxic but have gone on for so long that it's become second nature. Some people out there may truly feel there is no way out. It may be due to finances, or children, or lack of independence...and some maybe don't know any better.

So thinking about the struggle of being IAR today, I googled "the difference between comfort and love". I found an article written for Elite in October of 2015 by Gigi Engle. You can find the link to the post here, but I especially liked the 2 ending paragraphs:

"Yes, being comfortable may not be nerve-racking. But living without happiness means settling. It means not allowing yourself to experience the most beautiful levels of human existence.

Being happy may be risky, but it’s better than never risking anything -- and therefore never truly living."

But then it comes back around: how can one be happy if one is never satisfied? 

And again, we are back to social media and its endless options. Places where people can put their best foot forward, lie through their teeth and go as far as to catfish people who are just looking for happiness. 
Are we all doomed to settle for a mediocre life because that's our only option left? 

Will only the luckiest of lucky find true happiness in their lifetime?

Maybe we should all focus more on our own self-discovery and less on trying to find a person to make us "whole"...


Saturday, February 24, 2018


I've really fallen off the wagon with writing. Clearly. I've had a lot on my mind as of late and didn't really prioritize the blog. I don't make any income from my writing, but it is therapeutic excuses! LOL.

Today I'm going to write about the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator ( MBTI )

I was introduced to this concept by my friend Summer. I'd never really heard of Myers-Briggs prior to that, and she had me take a test during our girls night at 16 Personalities to determine what mine is. 

I guess there is no real scientific evidence to the test ( kind of like astrology of the psychology world ) but based more on studies and clinical testing.

Per Wiki, the MBTI was originated from Carl Jung's book Psychological Types. Initially there were only four personality types, but today the MBTI recognizes 16. Hence the 16 Personalities test.

My test determined I am an ISFJ aka. The Defender. I guess I'm actually an ISFJ-T...


I am a very self-aware person, and it's amazing how accurate this science-less test is.

Some excerpts from my results are as follows:

"Defender personalities ( especially Turbulent ones ) are often meticulous to the point of perfectionism, and thought they can procrastinate, they can always be relied on to get the job done on time. Defenders take their responsibilities personally, consistently going above and beyond, doing everything they can to exceed expectations and delight others, at work and at home."
Dead on.

"The challenge for Defenders is ensuring that what they do is noticed. They have a tendency to underplay their accomplishments, and while their kindness is often respected, more cynical and selfish people are likely to take advantage of Defenders' dedication and humbleness by pushing work onto them and then taking the credit. Defenders need to know when to say no and to stand up for themselves if they are to maintain their confidence and enthusiasm."

Per, my strengths include:
*supportive ( yes )
*reliable and patient ( yes, and usually )
*imaginative and observant ( always )
*enthusiastic ( meh, I guess 50% of the time? )
*loyal and hardworking ( mostly and yes )
*good practical skills ( for the most part )

And my weakness':
*humble and shy ( I am at the worst possible times )
*take things to personally ( ALWAAAAAAAYYYS! )
*repress their feelings ( uhhhh...=/ )
*overload themselves ( emotionally, yes )
*reluctant to change ( it scares the shit out of me, personally )
*too altruistic ( meaning I put others happiness before my own: yes )

When I initially read over my results, I couldn't believe how accurate they were. It goes into an overview, your strengths/weaknesses, relationships, careers, etc. and it's crazy how on-point it can be. 

Summer was an INFJ, meaning she's more of a dreamer than I am. I deal based on my intuitions and past experience, while INFJs are more daydreamy. It's actually quite interesting.

So if you have a few minutes, I definitely recommend visiting 16 Personalities and checking out your MBTI results. If you're interested in psychology, astrology or self-awareness, it is pretty cool to read in to. 

I'll end with a few ISFJ images:

If you take the test, comment your results below and let me know what personality type YOU are! =]

Monday, January 29, 2018

It's A Two-fer!

Clearly I've been lacking in the writing department!...I failed to do my December Birchbox review and NOW, it's almost the end of January and I didn't do this month's, either! *bad Jenn!* 

I'm sitting here drinking the rum and Diet that I so surprisingly came home to and thought, "I should blog". And since I don't really have any topic I feel like covering today, I'm gonna do two reviews-one post! LOL!

December 2017 Box Review  

Love of Color Liquid Shimmer Shadow
For a liquid eyeshadow, I was pleasantly surprised! It dried fast as to not cause those dreadful "creases" that you can get from such a product. I'm uncertain ( and too lazy to look ) at what color I received, but I think it was Peachy Gold--either way, I like the neutral tone and the touch of shimmer that you get from it. Definitely an awesome liquid shadow!

Whish Botanical Primer
I used this primer over the weekend and thought it worked fine. It felt more like a moisturizer when I applied it, so it made it a little easier to disperse evening over my face. It also didn't give me that "dry" feeling that some primers tend to ( aka. Smashbox Photo Finish primer that I HATE ) I don't usually use primers, as I feel like moisturizer is more of a concern than anything. But I was pleased with the product.

Marcelle Ultimate Volume Nano Mascara
The brush is rubber and teeny-tiny with works great for the corners of the eyes! The only downfall is that I don't feel like it holds much of the actual mascara for application--I felt like I needed to put in back in the tube multiple times to get an adequate amount.

NuFACE Prep-N-Glow Cloths
I got 2 of these and have used one so far. I really liked that it has duel-textures for scrubbing and make up removal. I felt like when I used the exfoliator side that it really wiped away the dead skin and made my face super smooth. 

Aveda Thickening Tonic
I LOVE THIS -ISH! On the weekends, I do a few spritzes at my roots, comb and blowdry and my hair looks awesome!! I naturally have flat, straight hair with lots of fly-a-ways. Some days I'm so frustrated that I honestly want to shave my head. But I really like this product. My hair feels ( and looks ) fuller and I feel like my hair is smoother and not so...crazy...when I use the product. I really like this one, and it was my favorite product in my box.

BONUS!--I got my very first eyelash curler with my December box, as Birchbox included them in all boxes this month! I don't know how I survived without one! 

January 2018 Box Review  

Smashbox Cosmetics Always On Matte Liquid Lipstick 
Again, I'm not certain of the shade that I received but I think it was In Demand...and I actually wore it to work today! I also trusted that it would stay on all day and, for the most part, it did! I actually left the tube at home, so I had no way to reapply. Hahaha! Application is easy and precise with the shape of the brush. I don't usually wear lip color, but I've gotten quite a few nice, nude, matte shades from Birchbox that I've been super pleased with!

DOUCCE Freematic Eyeshadow Single
This color is not a good shade for my skin tone ( I'm thinking it is called Veronica? ) It's more of a yellowish tint, which doesn't look great on a fair-skinned girl who tends to have tints of pink and not yellow. Haha. Meh, you win some and you lose some!

Davines LOVE Smoothing Shampoo/Conditioner
For one, I was super pleased to see that the shampoo sample was a mini-bottle and not one of those "sample packets". Although, that's how the conditioner came, I don't use conditioner everytime I wash my hair so NBD. But this shampoo smells AMAZING! It does suds up, which I like because then I actually feel like my hair is getting clean. And with the conditioner, a little goes a long way. Unfortunately, the duo in full-size is $56 which is a little rich for my taste.

R+Co BADLANDS Dry Shampoo Paste
I haven't tried this product yet, but I'm interested to see how a paste will help my hair not look like a greasy rats nest...

Air Repair Complexion Boosting Moisturizer
I alternate my moisturizer ( I knoooooooow! ) since I have so many samples, and some are "greasier" than others. This one wasn't too bad. It was light and dried quickly--and didn't cause me to break out soooo...

My last box comes in March, and then it's on to another subscription. I briefly looked into Sephora's box, but I may try a snack box or something along those lines. There are so many different options now that it's hard to choose!

Do you have any box that you love receiving monthly? 

Monday, January 8, 2018

Happy 2018!!!!

Long time, no write! It's definitely been a while--a little over a month, actually. It was busy during the holiday season between work and festivities, so I decided to write a catch-up blog post. 

Hold on to your skivvies ( JK...I'm not exciting at all... ) 

We went to see TSO perform again on the 15th in Hershey. We ended up going to Applebee's right down the road for dinner prior, and it took us about 40 minutes to get "two blocks" to the Giant Center. I was a little tipsy off their LIT special ( $1 Long Island's ) and then we realized that the show was pretty much the same thing we saw last year. I mean, I enjoyed it either way but it was a rough week at work and I was ready to get home and get to bed.

I temped Abbey with the promise of crab legs to come out for Christmas. I think it may have been the first Christmas I actually spent with her! She celebrated with her mom's side of the family on the 9th and didn't really have plans for XMAS day, so she drove out and spent the night and we feasted on crab legs and such. It was nice to have her over for the holiday. Since Carol is pregnant and also hates seafood, and dad has gout and can't EAT seafood...I enjoyed having one of my family members there for the evening.

Buddy has been with us since Christmas Day. Nate's dad had him for a few months and ended up not really wanting a dog, so now Nate and I are "fostering" him. Being a part of rescue, I see how hard it is to find homes for "senior" dogs ( Buddy is estimated to be 10 ) I don't want this poor boy to not be loved during his final years, so now--he's ours. He's either a Great Dane or Mastiff mix, he's super chill and lazy ( how I like them! ), easy going and just an all-around good boy. He wants to mark but it's getting less frequent. I'm thinking about getting some Belly Bands to keep his peepee at bay.

On the 30th we had our office holiday party at Hollywood Casino. The boss took us to Final Cut Steakhouse for dinner! I didn't get steak, though; I opted for the scallops with crab mac and cheese. It was delicious! Then we hit the floor with a $10 voucher and a contest for who could win the most off of that. I lost all of mine, unfortunately, but Nate got money out and we took turns playing the ticket. All-in-all we only walked away with an $8 loss. 

Last Saturday I got a new tattoo! I have been talking about this one for almost a year now and finally decided to make it happen. Dust at Ego Ink did this for me and I absolutely love it! I was going to get it on my calve but last minute decided to put it on my left thigh, and I'm glad I did. As funny as it sounds, every time I go to the bathroom I get to see it and I like that I can. Plus, I imagine the back of the leg hurts like a sonofabitch

Lastly, per a previous blog post, I mentioned about the "thankful jar"--I put my first sheet in this weekend! I made it a point to put it on the entertainment center with pre-cut sheets of paper in a bowl. I want to put one in at least once a week, unless something extra happens that I'm pleased by. Although I didn't really set any "resolutions" this year, there are some things I hope to accomplish: take a trip with Mallory to somewhere exotic and out of the country ( since I've never been ), eat better and get back to working out more regularly, and to not let the attitudes of others influence my own so much/learn to be more optimistic and not so pessimistic. I think the first two are attainable, but the latter is going to be the hardest. 

I've decided, also, to flip-flop my therapy sessions between my old and new. I really miss talking to A, even if it did feel like "paying for a friend". I didn't realize how beneficial it was for me until I stopped seeing her. Today was my first session back with her and it felt awesome

I did get a December Birchbox that I did not review ( ...clearly ) but I'll make it a point to post about it here shortly. My January one is already on its way! Eek!

My birthday is two Sundays from now...but 31 isn't that big of a deal...

Well I hope that all of you had a great holiday and a happy New Year, for sure! I'll try to make it more of a priority to get on this thing and write a tad more often. Now that things, and life, seem to be slowing down a bit I will hopefully do so!

Tata for now!


Sunday, December 3, 2017

Hot Girls Wanted!

image by BuzzFeed

This dude a fucking tool.

Last Sunday, I delved into the Netflix vortex of binge-watching. I ended up watching the entire docuseries Hot Girls Wanted: Turned On in one fell swoop. The original documentary, along with a few in this 6-part series, were directed by Rashida Jones ( yes, the pretty girl from The Office/Parks and Rec/various movies )  I had previously watched the original documentary so I thought that this would be a good watch, also. One of the episodes featured this man--James Rhine. Immediately, I knew I had to bitch about him.

So apparently Jimbo was on Big Brother ( season 6, I think ) Watching the episode that featured him in this series actually infuriated me. The gist of the hour was pretty much "ghosting", how social media keeps us guessing, how we aren't satisfied as a whole because of all the options, how easy it is to find sexual partners online and the like. And this guy was like, the master of all douchebags.

James is like, 40 years old. He's currently sharing an apartment with 2 women who are probably about half his age. He's addicted to sites like Tinder and Bumble, and he's a complete commitment phobe. The way he portrays himself in his hour is actually disgusting--he plays with women's hearts, hurts feelings, he will disappear without explanation and he keeps a journal of all the women he's slept with ( pretentious much?! ) 

He goes on to explain a little bit about himself prior to his "fame" from BB6. He claims he was always considered the "good guy" and most of his female friends would friend-zone him because of it. He was nerdy and sweet in high school and kind of shy; didn't really date. Then when he was kicked off of Big Brother, his popularity arose. He was getting come-ons from hundreds of women via social media and in person. That's when his popularity got to his head and where it seems the issues started.

In one part of the episode, he had been on a few dates with this really sweet 26 year old girl ( yes, twenty-fucking-six and he's 40! ) They actually seemed to really hit it off. But one MONDAY night James is at his buddies house partying and asks her if she wants to come out. She texts back something about how she can't, because she has work in the morning, and sort-of questions why he's partying on a Monday night. INSTANTLY this dudes demeanor changes. It's like Jekyll and Hyde! He flips the switch and responds with, "Well, it was really nice meeting you. Take care." and BOOM!...just like that, he's done with her. I was just...floored.

But this episode also made me truly realize something: in the midst of social media dating, people are too easily "giving up" on potentially great things all due to the illusion that there's better out there. People will not accept more than 100% of anything because there are SO many other options out there. Even this 40 year old man, who dated far before Facebook, is falling victim to this charade.

I think most people forget that social media is only one side of a person; a side that someone is OK with showing the public. You don't see the tears, the bad days, the messy beds, the messy hair, the dirty dishes, the marital spats, the money issues, the struggle. You only see the good ( well, for the most part ) Expecting that someone is going to be ONLY what they portray online is quite idiotic. But it keeps people from truly knowing what love really is. So then you search for something you will never find.

This dude not only pissed me off, but he also made me feel bad for people who truly don't know any better. For people who will continue to search for "bigger and better" and never finding satisfaction in their lives. Love is about compromise. It's about loving someone for their strengths as well as their weaknesses. It's about wanting to be with someone despite. No one is perfect--a few extra pounds, maybe some depression, self-esteem issues ( too much/too little )--and it's almost impossible to find someone who will 100% fit your "mold". We are all human and we all have downfalls. 

People are trying to find love conditionally.

Toward the end of the episode, James seems to have an "epiphany" ( which I don't full buy ) and states that he needs to be better and more transparent. Unfortunately, the first 40 minutes of the show had already put a bad taste in my mouth, so his eye-opening account didn't do much for me. I feel, at age 40, that he shouldn't be acting like such a child and toying with girls' hearts...especially girls in their 20s. I guess I feel that he should know better.

Dating in this day and age is a catastrophe, especially for those with old souls and old-school values. I guess that's just the way of the world now, though. 

I just hope, like with most things, it's a fad that fades out.  

Oh, and PS. Don't be a dick! 😉


Sunday, November 26, 2017

Off Your Rocker

A lot of my posts have to do with mental health. I do this as part of my own personal therapy. I feel like there is still such a stigma when it comes to mental disease, but I also feel like it's important to self-healing when you're true to yourself and your shortcomings. Dealing with anxiety and depression definitely sucks; you're in your head all the time, you can be having a great time out with friends and then just really want to go home, sometimes it prevents you from evening making plans in the first place, and it can really get you down sometimes. Fortunately, I don't suffer from worse, like manic bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, body dysmorphic disorder--but that doesn't make it any easier during a panic attack or a day where I can't find the energy to get out of bed.

Through research and common sense, though, I've compiled a short list of "dos and don'ts" when it comes to bettering/worsening your mental state. Although having a mental illness doesn't mean your life is over, there are things that you should make a conscious effort to do, and some you should avoid doing. 

Take your fucking meds!
Too many people decide that they "feel better" and just stop their medication. Whether it be due to unwanted weight gain, having horrible memory and forgetting, or just being ashamed that they have to take a daily medication--you're on the medication for a reason. Would you rather pack on a few extra pounds, yet be a sane person that others want to associate with?...or are you that vain that the worst thing you can be is fat?  Plus, when you suddenly stop taking your medication, your body does withdraw. With my new medication, if I don't take it everyday I will literally get a headache or dizzy spells. My body can tell me "hey, you need your medicine"...and I listen. I'd rather be chunky than crazy, that's for sure. 

Working out is medicine in itself. It could be a daily walk around the neighborhood, a Zumba class or some cardio at the local gym...just get your blood pumping! Release those endorphins; you'll feel better inside and out!

Don't drink alcohol, especially in excess!
Alcohol only worsens things. I know people tend to lean towards alcohol to "forget", but when you're a sloppy mess that's 10 seconds away from a complete mental breakdown, it's time to put down the wine and reevaluate your life. You know those girls that get super emotional and cry when they get drunk?...almost certain it's due to their anxiety. Overanalyzing everything in your head and being drunk is a bad combination. A drink here or there is NBD, but when you slam back half a dozen drinks and start talking gibberish via text or social media, you may have a problem. Plus, antidepressants and alcohol are not a good combo--it even states that on every single bottle you fill.

Stay away from triggers
Easier said that done sometimes, I know, but try your damndest to stay away from people or situations that you know are going to trigger you. Have a friend that unintentionally makes you feel bad about your life? See them sparingly. Have family that constantly fights/complains? Visit on only the holidays. Have an ex that you KNOW made you unhappy? Don't fucking go back. It's easier to make these decisions once you have a good sense of self-awareness...without it, you will keep falling back into things that make you sick, not better.

Be OK with not being OK
Find a friend or two that you know that you can trust to come to when you're feeling exceptionally low. There's no reason to display an episode for the whole world to see, but it's important to have someone that you can turn to when you're having a rough time. You're allowed to NOT be OK. When you have a mental illness, there are going to be good days and bad. Even if you DON'T have one, this is also true. But knowing that you have a good support system is part of helping yourself. Whether it be a workout class, a therapy group, your BFF or just having a good cry--it's important to be self-aware and do what you can to make the situation better, not worse. 

Try talk therapy
Like I said, I've been doing this for over a year now. My last therapist all we really did was talk, but my new one is doing EMDR with me ( along with some talk therapy ) Find what works for you. Some people have more than one therapist. Some go once a week, some go a few times a week. It's all about trial and error. I know that it's not cheap, but if you don't have mental health coverage with your insurance, you can also find solace speaking to someone at your local church. Or finding groups online for people who have your same issues. It's easier, I feel, to talk to someone who has experience or knows first hand about what you're going through. When you talk to a world that has no idea, all you look like is a fool. 

I cannot say enough how important self-care is. And you cannot find that within another person. You're not going to die if you're alone for a few years. You don't need to have a man/woman in your life to be whole. It's actually the opposite. Part of being self-aware is that you realize that you can do it on your own and that you don't need another person to "complete" you. For a long time, I was like that--so concerned with always being with someone because I felt like I NEEDED someone all the time. But through experience and heartache, being alone and enjoying that time, I learned more about who I am and what I'm capable of. I don't need anyone else, so those that I have in my life are not out of necessity but want. And that self-awareness helped strengthen me and alleviate some of the depression. Realizing that the only person who can truly affect your depression/anxiety/bipolar is you! 

If you want to be happy, you need to manifest it. Yes, it takes time and a lot of work...but it's achievable. Having anxiety means I'm always in my head; this being said, I try to "be in my head" positively instead of negatively so that I don't worsen my symptoms of sadness. Having a positive attitude is hard when you've never practiced it, but the only way to get better is to stop doing the things that weren't working and try something new! 

Be smart, be aware and be kind.